imi costa cinci minute sa te iubesc.
camera se umple de atingeri ,
in plamini imi insuflu existenta ta,
nu-mi pasa de nepasarea ta.

imi costa ore sa te privesc,
in diferite secole din viata,
prin ochelarii sentimentelor tale,
emotiile par sa-si fi ales alta cale.

imi costa o clipa sa inteleg ,
exista timp, si noi, murim de tot.
te vad furindu-ti dragostea din pat,
ma simt gasit , ranit , si-s posedat.

imi costa o viata sa-mi amintesc,
dragostea lasata petalelor corpului tau,
mai sper ca-i ultima, si intelegi ca mor,
si-as vrea sa vrei sa iti lasi viata ling-al meu izvor 

ca de obicei totul incepe cu vin,care de fapt se termina.acelasi anturaj vopsit in diferite ginduri.afara-i minus ,mi-e frig sa merg pe strazi, in transport, oriunde exista oameni reci.amu cit tori dorm, parca-i mai cald, o singuratate calda. la ora unu, troleibuzu e plin de oameni ucisi de viata, si oameni ucisi de oameni. mi-e interesant , admira cineva azi razele soarelui pe geamurile inghetate.in scoli , oameni care rid pustiu, pe seama oamenilor care au ris pe seama altor oameni, in baruri , vorbesc despre oameni, imi par atit de obsedati de oameni ca si-au uitat daca-s insusi oameni, si insumi sunt?
si totusi , citeodata , dar atit de rar , vad oameni. vedeam unu in ochii ei , dupa ce-am facut dragoste, si-apoi si-a revenit in starea de moarte? nici nu stiu ce-i a fi om.acum cred ca-s mort, nu stiu nimic, scriu combinatii de litere , pe care prea putin le inteleg. dragoste, eu, tu, noi, voi , ei , oricine, oameni, sentimente, emotii , viata.n-am vreo idee fixa de-a v-o spune , ma simt stupid.stupid? ma simt diferit cred, necunoscut .
cred ca vrem reactii anumite, de la anumiti oameni. si-apoi mie nu-mi reuseste prea des, imi rulam scena de maine , cind vine tata si vede ca i-am baut ambele sticle, ori ce-mi  va scrie ea,ce va simti, si, cit va simti, is prea egoist, razbunator, dezamagit. nu stiu ce vreau, o stare tare stuida, diferita, ma mai corectez odata. cred ca i-as da rolul principal ei, acum, ori , m-as baga in modul pohui.l-am aprins.
ma gindesc citi oameni au fost in viata mea, pot si sa-i clasific , in grupe gen: prieteni , cunoscuti, colegi, amici, rude, iubite, necunoscuti. mai corect formulat , cine-am fost eu in viata lor , propria opinie .
citeodata simt ca devin si eu ca ei , inteleg c-am devenit ,partial , simt ura ,emotii negative,le arunc in oameni si-apoi imi cer scuze.imi cer scuze ca exist,as vrea sa ma sinucid,citeodata.
mi-e greu sa ma resemnez cu asa relatii,atitudine ,stari, si-apoi sa inteleg ca devin si eu asa. imi e interesant,cit ma resemnez cu huineaua asta in dragoste , cind o s-o preiau? chiar ma gindeam azi la.

de-o vara n-am vazut cum ninge

ma deranjam intrebindu-ma , de ce l-ai lasat ,de ce m-ai ales pe mine, si , daca o mai faci?

ea s-a dus la olimpiada  cit eu muream :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

noi.
sufletul ninge.
singuratate.

oricine din camera asta are nevoie de tine.
stiu oricine din camera asta crede ca te vrea.

e frig, inauntru,inafara.
pantalonii aruncati pe podea, stupid dorm.
un pat, din plapume pe podea, si peste plapume,
visuri, innecate in coniac.
o scrumiera , murdara de sentimente.
o chitara in spate, iubire uitata .
si-apoi iar violata, de sentimente
o sticla , aproape goala, si alta
ascunsa, in caz de supradoza.
un corp , sfisiat de miros neplacut,
vopsit in bautura ,si meduze de fum.
o minte ce nu tine minte,..
ce scrie, ce simte.
din geam ,lumina loveste in ochi,
din mine, loveste in dansul fulgilor de zapada,
printre care-mi impingeam dragostea,
spre tine. 
vopsele , uitate la cinci ani.
picturi in sentimente beate in ceata.
as picta in singe,dac-as fi pictor.

nu vreau sa ies din singuratate.

nu poti trai daca nu stii regulule-i

scuza-ma c-am fugit, egoist, las.

descult in zapada. 

ninge,
meduze fara tine.
ninge.

blea si dispozitie concenaia, as vrea s ma inchid intr-o camera,casa s-arunc cheile in wc , sa am comp , vreo cutie de tigari , alcool, sau poate si fara  , vreu s las bautu . blea , s ma fut .

discutam despre copii, dezvoltarea lor. o idee care mi-o placut era in gen : generatiile tinere se dezvolta prea rapid in plan intelectual, si prea putin in plan emotional.

i've seen her there, so little
i've ruined some tears
from eyes, to skin of my face,
maybe even to the floor.
she ran to me , with her arms ,
undressed and hangin' on my shoulders.
the look of her childish eyes,
blowing an ocean of happines ,
to anyone whom sight she catch .
i could stay there, on my knees ,
only for seconds counted
like travelling trough the mist.
i'd die for her to be happy. 

am vazut-o ieri pe maria, la rock, era cu radu. am auzit iar cum ride, ca si demult, dar nu cu mine.ma gindeam la cite s-au intimplat ieri, azi, saptamina asta, blea , chiar realizez ca-s iar singur, certat cu tata, buneii, prietenii parc-au ramas acolo, undeva, parc-am ajuns undeva singur, fiind pin acum tinut de mina, si iar privesc cum dispare .tot. parca m-am obisnuit (desi mi-e greu sa scriu ) cu despartirea, cu raspunsuri care nimicesc noi-urile , cu incercari inutile de-a intoarce tot. imi pare rau ca am un suflet mort, in care-i doar bezna, si nici oxigen pentru-a aprinde o luminare nu-i. imi pare rau ca-i tot asa simplu, si , dupa ce sapi vre-un metru ,doi, obosesti , si , si ce mai poate urma , e evident..
si -mi pare stupid sa mai scriu , c-as vrea sa fiu eu , cel ce-o face sa zimbeasca, cel ce-i va scoate hainele, cel ce-i va lasa saruturi , intre drogurile , de pe politele corpului ei.
  i just couldn't find anything to say, there,
 i kissed her and left.  ma gindesc acum , eu , care umblu toata ziua si noaptea de-a pula prin oras , cautind un loc sa dorm, undeva unde va fi deja prea tirziu ca sa ma trimita iar in strazi , ce caut aici?
cite-o luna de fericire , intre vieti pline de durere.
and it ain't the first time i feel dead, and one shall be the last , and the first time i die happy
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haYdcfZbn9k

expresionizm modern./

te-am privit in ochi.
m-am lasat cuprins de privirile tale,
gindurile tale,sunetele,si miinile.

m-am lasat dezbracat , tacere.

in baie urma sa ma cufund ,
in atingerile tale ,
imi pictai pe trup,
liniile degetelor tale.

 m-am lasat in tacere,dezbracat.

mi-ai hranit buzele imbibate-n vin,
cu raze din soarele,
de dupa nopti in ceata .

simt cum ma cufund, ma droghez .

imi tremura mina,
cit imi caut drogurile ,printre cartile
de pe politele corpului tau .
in baie-s doar doi.

simt cum ma droghez,ma cufund.

if it's so important for you

to have a good dick

than excuse mine's too sick

il sun pe tata. imi ridica, intreb unde-i , si daca pot sa vin seara.
"da esti treaz?" m-a intrebat.

dreams be dreams

ma dor ochii, am fumat un pachet in 5 ore .blea.

enough blood to pay a life

she won't.
and tears.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isYhMK3tP0c&list=RDdN5pycI843k

cutted veins look so pretty
into the sunshine of your love
it seems to be, the happines
of all my life.
i'm for the first time happy
i'm going to die

i don't want to wait a life ,for death.

it's all simple.
we live,  we love,we lie.
we, are nothing.
we're just barely known.
each other.
we, are nothing,
because i'm dying.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZgblTKscX0

die happy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc7Mm550hwo

you've been in my head more than in my eyes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rlh08Rw-Pew

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmmujhgZh9Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmmujhgZh9Q

 a child in front of a body.

he couldn't find a word to say,
into the houses of  the broken time,
he sat all the night, there in rain.
waiting to wake up from that nightmare of a child.

there was no one to stay,
inside the room of his lone life,
he sat all night,there in his brain,
waiting to swim into the ocean's wild.

and as the rivers flowed day by day,
he couldn't find anything else inside ,
the boat of happines drowned fast ,
and only tears were kissing his eyes.

"well ,fine.. i'll scream once more."
his voice sounded far, watter waves.
then the moon and the stars were born.
but he couldn't find anything than death.

i could tell you , watch the sky.
we were holding our hands, down.
and eyes sometimes  found happines,
into other one's. 

if the night will brings love to you
and you shall feel free to draw
please , let me know
either i'll be far away
or just near you
please ,let me know
so , if the sun brings tears to your eyes
and your skin shall beg for kisses
let me know , i'll be right there

• i smelled the dreams that were filled by ocean into your hair

  i dream of it on dry, and mud stairs

  stairs beggind for light

  i think of you into my dreams

  undressed slow, into the wind's arms

  i felt i wanted to kiss him

  kill

  him

  
  

  
  

  
  

  and kiss me
   so you'll be falling into mine's
• and we were covering ourself with kisses

i remember you on that chair i stay now.

i remember your wonder , it was the one you liked, i think

you smiled with happines over everything.

that house waited for so long

i needed it , for so much.

i remember you on the street

dancing there

in the wind of careless time.

you stopped there, you stopped all surroundings .

i watched you, near me, so beautiful of freedom.

there , i knew if you leave, i'll feel dead

more that anytime else

i would be for the first time happy that i'll die

singuratate.una din stari , care-mi place , intr-un fel.
 toata casa-i atit de singura, tacuta, calma.
 eu, si toata viata mea.
aveai ochi albastri,si-mi vorbeai in alte limbi.
alergam, in doi, pe ulite, cu pietre pe jos.
eram descult,eram fericiti, aveam cinci ani.
mi-ai fost mai drag, chiar decit  oameni.
ti-ai infipt coltii in corpul slab,
poate plingeam, singeram, mi-era frica?
mi-era dor.citeodata.as vrea sa pot ,
sa-mi trec mina pe tine. 

un narcoman a fost gasit in casa, cintind cu 2 linguri la o masa. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzY3Yh40hd8

if you see her, say hello.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Osr2qt6mc

i filled my mind with your pain
it took the control over .
i'm useless, only feelings
sad ,dark feelings.

nu vreau sa scriu.